Archive for September, 2012

A Fez Full Of Marmite

September 11, 2012 Leave a comment





Mars Bar – Marmite.
Marmite – Mars Bar.
Not Like That!
Like That!
Ahhh Ha Ha Ha!
There’s Something
In My Marmite Jar!
Oh.. It’s A Mars Bar…






the vas deferens between disco and kebab

September 8, 2012 1 comment


here’s a true story about a night out
I had with my sister some years ago

we found ourselves as two peas in a pod –
both rejected by those we thought we loved

so to heal our wounds we’d gone for a drink
out on the town to have a laugh as friends

we went as usual to the King’s Head
full of bikers but the best pub in town

then we worked our way through a couple more
of the most raucous and loud pubs there were

until we came to the good old Red Lion
that throbbed with the sounds of a disco night

we strode headlong into the teeming throng
and fought tooth and nail our path to the bar

unable to converse above the din
we people watched and laughed with our eyes

look at the strange girl with her silly boots
and the guy over there with lipstick on

and then, what the hell, we joined in the dance
twisting and boogieing our cares away

then we noticed two other dancing peas
who were also having a great time too

my sister, always the one to dispel
illusions that might well be lingering

laughed over at the couple and shouted
were not together cos he’s my brother

the guy laughed too and shouted back to us
hey nor are we because she’s my sister

but he wasn’t done there for then he looked
at me and shouted the spookiest thing

bear in mind that I’d never met the guy
so there was no way he could have known this

perhaps the cynic in him recognized
in me the same qualities he possessed

just from that sentence my sister shouted
his random but insightful sentence was

something which I will always remember
I bet he’s had a vasectomy too 

I don’t recall much else about the night
but I think I went home with a kebab


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